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“I had a squadron command that was very demanding, so [Tom] took up the slack at home," recalled Di Silverio, who has been married 19 years to her husband, an Air Force reservist."It was very challenging for him to take on that role with virtually no support system in a foreign country," she said.

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When she retired in 2004, she and her husband switched roles and she became the stay-at-home parent.

"My husband sacrificed his career goals for most of the years that I was on active duty, with the understanding that I would retire," she said. Marie Ruediger, from San Diego, Calif., said that she has been seeking employment since March 2011 but has not had a single interview.

Now, Di Silverio writes mystery novels and parents her kids full time. Even though she expects to earn her master's degree this year, employers seem to be more interested in speaking about job opportunities to her husband, who retired from the Navy in 2010."Whenever folks learn that I am the wife of a military veteran, they always ask for my husband to be the person that they hire," she said.

In honor of Memorial Day, we talked to four military spouses about what what their marriages are really like, especially when one spouse is far away or in combat.

They shared some truths about their lives, which are often misunderstood by civilians.

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